So many doubts, but you cleared them. Now, who's gonna bring the trust bk again?

As i read through those msgs, i think. From the start till now, i wonder whats true in those msgs. I actually still smiled as reading them, till the recent ones. I teared, what was all this all about?
Told you i cannot take anymore failures in r/s, and yet you failed me throughout.
No, im not blaming you. Im not...... Sigh. I just dont understand why. Why are you able to say all those stuffs when you dont mean it. Why do this to me. Why even lie to me for the reason of break up.
It's not about minimizing the pain, dont you know it would hurt even more when im the one who saw it with my own eyes about the truth? Lies lies lies. That was all about us.
Pains me to see and feel how loving you both are...... but what else can i do except for seeing just that?
I wished for you to come bk to me, but somehow it feels so impossible.
It's alright now, i feel so...........

Tc!